So in the last post – the 5th of July, my dear friend, the 5th of July – I was complaining about only doing six blog posts in all of June, though I typed July by accident, which had horrified me, apparently. Well, compared to doing two blog posts in July, that’s… like, triple it XD. Shoulda just stuck with the mistype of six. So much for posting.

I’m not gonna promise you guys a load of posts since that epic-phailed. But I’m gonna try. Plus, as Myna was saying I don’t know how long ago on her blog which I was reading through however many posts I missed, it’s another excuse for this summer writing funk that everyone’s getting in. I don’t know about everybody else, but I’m definitely in a summer writing funk. No writing this summer. Instead, I’ve been drawing and drawing and drawing some more. And I’m getting better. But I’m still not writing anything. Apart from my 100 Themes Challenge… I’m not doing any writing at all. Tut tut, Vapzii. I’m so terrible.

Talking about that 100 Themes Challenge. Since… the 2nd of July… when I finished Heaven, I’ve done… one more challenge. XD And this one wasn’t anywhere near as long as the others which you guys are probably thankful for, cos I bet you’re all totally fed up of lugging through 3000 words by now! In a month. I’ve done one challenge. I’m so terrible. And that’s pretty much the only writing I’ve done. My excuse was something like school and homework – but I can’t exactly use that excuse anymore, since it’s the summer holidays now. You lucky buggers out in America, having already been off for like… a month. Or unlucky buggers, since this is without a doubt the most boring summer EVER. We’re even more stuck inside than normal. No possibilities of a holiday, not that we’ve ever really gone on many holidays. More like… we’re stuck inside the house and literally don’t have a choice of going anywhere because my family is crazy.

So I’ve been drawing. Specially Kiara and Aeron XD. Serious. They’re my favourite couple. The Riders RP has gone to my head. ‘Tis getting obsessive. Talking ’bout Ki and Aer, I’ve finished my second picture of them and should be scanning it to put it on dA. It’s cute. :) But when are they not cute? Specially when Hanners is drawing them :3. Serious. She posted a pic of them kissing the other day. I totally spazzed XD. BUT IT WAS CUTE.

I’m gonna shut up before I ramble about how cute they are for the next two weeks.

Actually, I lied about the writing. I’ve just remembered. I wrote about the Riders RP and it was so cute and sad– *brutally murdered*

Okay. I’m definitely gonna shut up.

I’m going to leave nao. I’ll post Innocence soon, preferably with my next update if it isn’t a month away. So… don’t give up on this blog, lol. It’s got life left in it yet! *thinks about CPR and giggles* Don’t ask. It’s a Riders RP thing and I’ve gotta shut up about that XD. Anyway. Evidence of me being alive for the month is on my dA. Check it out. Excitingness has happened. (You can see my drawing phase and my writing funk.)

See ya.

*crosses fingers that she won’t forget about this blog again*

So… today my alarm clock didn’t go off. Was not fun. Mum ended up waking me up at half seven and I was rushing ’round like a complete idiot, ’cause I normally get up at seven and I had to leave at quarter to for my eight o’clock bus. XD I ended up almost leaving without my money, which was annoying ’cause mum only had a twenty pound note which is never very good for BUS FARE XD, and she ended up raiding my piggy bank. Which isn’t anything remotely like a pig, actually, it’s Hello Kitty, but, hey, I call it a piggy bank XD. So I got to the bus stop in time and then almost missed it ’cause I was fiddling with my iPod. Stupid me. It was one HECTIC morning, I tell you.

Other stuff… it was sports day on Friday. The fun of it. Luckily, I wasn’t doing anything – I’m absolute pants at sport so no one even bothered to pick me, thank goodness, and Haru isn’t exactly the supremo-sports-dude either, so we had much fun watching people run around for two hours. Yay. The good thing was that we missed our actual unit of PE ’cause we were lucky with how it worked with our timetable. We also missed Science, which we were all sad about, ’cause we were really looking forward to another lesson of working in textbooks with an idiot supply teacher. I got bored and someone asked me the time halfway through and I got out my iPod and had a lot of fun spending the rest of the hour left playing with shuffle. And forcing Haru to listen to character-fitting songs, haha. Hopefully converting his music tastes in the process. He likes opera. Blehhh. I worry about him sometimes XD.

I had the Orthodontist on Thursday. It was weird. They basically stuck some funny pink stuff on my teeth and made a mould thing. Bet I spelt that wrong. Still not got braces. Rawr. I hate my teeth >___<.  But I’m dreading the part where they have to take some out! God, I am not doing that conscious. That’s what made my mum terrified of the dentist! XD

On Thursday night we had the KS3 awards evening… which was very boring, except for the whole guessing thing of ‘OOOH WHAT AWARD DID I GET’. Which we learnt in the practice, which was even more boring. I would rather’ve been doing History, the unit we missed. Anyway, I got it for English in my year. :D We have the subject awards for each year (seven, eight and nine) for effort and attainment. Mine was English Attainment for year eight. Which means I got ‘outstanding achievement’, apparently. School’s words, not mine. Haru got Maths Attainment, no surprise. He got the best score in his class. Probably the year. O____O He’s scary good at everything. The only thing I beat him at is English, haha, and he even got better than me on the reading exam. By one mark. Grr. XD We’re constantly trying to beat each other. It’s funny, actually.

Gotta go. Aren’t you happy I bored you with my boring life? XD

I think the ending was a little rushed, mainly ’cause I wanted to fit a lot in and I was sort of aware of the whopping huge word count. XD Otherwise, I think it’s alright. The theme song for this, if it had one, would definitely be My Immortal, Evanescence. Try listening to it while reading. I did that while I was rereading it and it nearly made me cry. It’s such a pretty song, that, and so saddddd…

Anyway, I changed the theme ’cause the quotes thing on Koi didn’t really work for big bits of writing stuff, so I put it back. But here we go! :D From Sil’s POV, which is sorta obvious, but there you go.

7) Heaven

I’m not gonna go on and on with this,

About how my heart’s broken,

About how you’ve hurt me,

About how I haven’t stopped crying for two whole years.

I’m gonna get straight to the point.

I’ll say it now.

You’re gone.

It’s not even in the soppy ‘you left me and now my heart’s broke’ way,

It’s just depressing.

This is one of those poems where you don’t care,

How stupid the words sound,

How the lines don’t rhyme,

How the ‘iambic pentameter’ rubbish isn’t in there,

You just write and let it out.

You let the words come out of you and you don’t stop them.

I think this is how poems are meant to be written.

Even when you get off topic,

(This poem’s supposed to be about you.)

You don’t stop it.

Maybe I would have,

When I was younger,

To impress you,

But you’re gone.

I don’t think you thought my poem’s much good anyway,

I bet you just said so to be nice,

So not to hurt my feelings.

You were good like that.

(But you’ve left me now.)

(You’re gone.)

(But that’s not your fault.)

I know exactly what you’d say if you saw me now,

You’d tell me to get right up and be happy,

Don’t let anything hold me back,

Hold me down,

Let myself free and find my heaven.

But you’re in heaven now.

You’re gone.

(It’s my fault.)

I can’t keep it bottled in.

It’s been so long.

So long, so long everyone’s beginning to ask me,

To forget about you,

To move on,

That you wouldn’t want me to be so unhappy.

But I’m never gonna forget.

I’m gonna keep you alive forever.

(Being dead doesn’t mean that you can’t live.)

I keep thinking of the last moments I spent with you,

Your dying hours,

(Minutes.)

Your last words,

Your last…

(Your last breath.)

(Your last wish.)

I failed.

I tried to save you.

I promise I didn’t mean to.

(I gave you your wish.)

I didn’t want to hurt you.

(Didn’t I?)

(I gave you what you wanted.)

I ended up hurting you anyway.

I didn’t mean to.

(Promise.)

I wanted to fix everything.

I thought that–

I thought you were dead already.

It was a mistake.

(I’m sorry.)

(Did I do it?)

It scares me,

How such a little mistake,

Misunderstanding,

Could mess things up so much.

Everything went wrong,

Not that it wasn’t wrong already.

(I’m even more sorry if I did.)

(Please forgive me.)

(Please.)

I miss you.

I know that you won’t come back,

But I still wish that you would.

Sometimes, I wish that you were still here with me, right now.

Actually, that’s a lie.

I wish you were with me all the time.

I don’t know what I was thinking,

He was never better than you.

I only realised that after you died.

(In those last minutes.)

But always know that I still,

I still love you.

I think I always did. Really.

I just didn’t know it yet.

(It’s too late. Much too late.)

This isn’t much of a poem anymore.

I’ve gone on and on too long,

Even though I said I wouldn’t.

But this is how poetry’s meant to be written.

Let it flow.

Don’t stop it.

I love you.

(That last minute.)

I wish you were here.

(Your last breaths.)

I want you back.

(That last…)

I know I can’t, but that won’t stop me wishing.

And I promise.

(I’m gonna write this down.)

I promise you.

(I want you to know how it felt.)

I’ll never forget you.

(How it felt with that…)

Ever.

I’ll always love you.

(That last kiss.)

…Please.

(Our first.)

…Promise me.

(Our last.)

…Just,

(Please,)

Love me back.

My quill makes a little clattering sound as it drops to the floor. I can imagine the ink splattering everywhere, but I don’t look away from my handwriting, all over the wall. Ma’ll kill me for that, but I don’t care. She’s already fed up with me right now. It would have been bad enough with me running off without telling, but coming back with Vil… coming back with Vil dead. Oh god. I clench my fist against my writing, getting wet ink all over my fingers but who even cares, and cry for the second time today.

Thud thud thud.

“Oh hell,” I mutter and I wipe my eyes and my ears are all pricking up, I dart upright and make to get out my window, ‘cause I really don’t wanna be here when Ma sees that. She can obviously hear me ‘cause I hear her footsteps get quicker until she’s running, and I leg it and put my hands over the window ledge and push off and I land smoothly down on the ground, and I shift into a run and I can still hear her but she’s stopped and is probably staring at the wall and not coming after—

“Sil…,” comes her voice behind me and it cracks and goes all wobbly but I don’t stop, I don’t I don’t I don’t, and she’s not out the house and she’s not coming after me. “SILYTH!”

I don’t turn round. I run and I don’t look back.

“SILYTH! JUST–,” she stops and her voice goes all quiet and she’s almost whispering but I still hear. “Please…”

I stop. I stop but I don’t turn round.

I hear her landing so she’s jumped out the window after me and I make to run again but she’s already at my wrist and pulling me round, shaking me, checking me for injury like she does every time. As if I’d cut myself. Shows how little she understands about me. It wasn’t like this before, but nothing was. Everything’s different.

I look at the trees, the dark patches, where I ran, two years ago—

“Sil. Look at me.” She pushes my head back with my chin, and I look at her, alright, I do, but I really stare right through her and don’t pay attention. I’ve heard this before. “Sil, you have to forget about him. It’s been two years now. Even his poor parents have gotten over it!”

“No they haven’t,” I say. “They just get on with it ‘cause they’ve got to.”

“No! No. Silyth, listen to me! You have to get on with your life. He wouldn’t want you to be—”

“NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME!” I glare at her. “LISTEN TO ME!”

She stops, her eyes sad and worried and searching. I feel like I’m gonna explode.

“How am I supposed to forget about him when he—“

“Sil…,” she starts, stopping me before I can even get my point across and I grab her shoulders and shake her hard, and she’d better be bloody scared ‘cause THIS IS NOT FAIR.

“Look at it this way, ‘cause you obviously don’t know ANYTHING about me. What if Pa died?! Would you forget about him? Would you get on with your life, seeing things that he used and loved every day, with this empty space where he isn’t? Would you sit through his funeral without breaking into tears? Would you watch everyone forget about him, getting on with their lives as if he never existed? WOULD YOU WATCH HIM DIE BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN JUST GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AS IF NOTHING EVER BLOODY HAPPENED?!”

I see the hurt in her eyes, and I see from her aura that she’s imagining all these things, but I don’t see her changing her mind about Vil any and I’m not finished with her yet. I’m so not finished with her yet.

And I whisper in her ear, “What the hell would you do?”

She’s quiet for a long time.

I’m glad that it hurts, ‘cause she deserves it, and Vil never deserved to be forgotten, after all the things he did—

“I wouldn’t stay like this for so long… you need to—“

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING! WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BLOODY UNDERSTAND?! HE KISSED ME!” I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, and I can hear everyone in their houses stirring, but they get what’s going on, ‘cause they’re at least used to me by now, unlike my bloody mother. I don’t focus on them. I can’t see anything but Ma and all I feel is overwhelming hate. “HE WASTED HIS LAST BLOODY BREATH KISSING ME!”

I scream and I throw my fist at her and she doesn’t fight back, she doesn’t move one bit, and my fist meets her jaw and hits her hard. And I throw my arm for her again, hitting her in the chest, and my head’s just buzzing buzzing buzzing, and I hate her I hate her I hate her so bloody much and I punch her again and again and she’s still not fighting, just sobbing silently as I pound at her, and I gather all the strength I can into my arm and I scream, “IT WAS ALL MY BLOODY FAULT!” as my fist connects with her body the last time.

She falls and she’s not moving, just lying there with the tears rolling down her cheeks, and I run I run I run I absolutely leg it, burning with anger and hatred and fury and WHY DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND ME?

I run past Vil’s house and I see his ma at the window, and she’s watching me go, and she’s sobbing too, her ears all twitchy as she shakes. I look away and I get out the village, and I can hear people coming out now I’m gone, rushing to help Ma up, and I can just about hear them whispering softly to her, comforting her, and that’s all well and good, but who’s out here comforting me? Eh?! Oh yeah, nobody, ‘cause I’M the one who needs bloody counselling, aren’t I?

I run wildly through the trees, not going anywhere, just wanting to get away and as soon as I stop hearing the noise from home, and as soon as there’s soft, wet grass at my feet and the gentle swishing of leaves and swirling water, I know that I’m there.

The lake.

Vil liked the lake. No, that’s an understatement, he loved this place. He would have lived here if he could’ve. Whenever he was upset, I always knew that I’d find him here. And we had such memories here…

My anger drains away as I think of all we did, and I let out a little choking noise as I collapse to my knees at the bank, tears coming all of a sudden and I put my hand into the water and I look up at the willow tree, which may as well have been his he loved it so much, and I freeze and I stare I stare I stare stare stare.

Butterflies. White butterflies. I remember suddenly from when this surge of butterflies came at me and Vil in the meadow, when we were five or something, and they’d just swirled around us and Vil had took my hand and held it out and a butterfly landed on it, fluttering, and they stayed for ages, almost dancing, and it was so beautiful…

I’m crying hopelessly know. I can literally feel my heart splitting in two – at least it feels like it. But I still watch the butterflies through my blurry vision, and I wonder if it’s just me or are they clustering together, moving in sync, almost shaped like a person—

I cry out and the butterflies fly away and then something’s left—

My eyes widen—

I’ve gotta be hallucinating—

This isn’t real—

There’s no way this is real—

This just can’t be happening—

Even though I want it so much—

It must be in my head—

‘Cause there’s no way—

That Vil can be standing right there.

Transparent, mind you. Almost completely see through, pale white, no colour to him. Him? Saying that he’s actually there? But would I imagine this, could I, even in this state? If I had, he wouldn’t be topless, like he had been when he died, not that I’m exactly bothered by that— I want to smack myself as soon as I think of it, but I don’t, I just stare, taking all of him in, even his scars, his bruises, every little cut that hurt him… every burn…

In that moment, I hate myself so fiercely that I forget all about him and there’s just an overwhelming thought of, I’m going mad, in my head and I collapse down and bury my head in the grass, sobbing.

“Hey…,” I hear and it’s Vil’s voice, oh god it’s his voice, all soft and worried and I feel something cold, absolutely chilling, pass through me for a second, and then it’s gone as quick as it came and I hear him murmur, “Sorry, Sil.”

Oh no, now I’m seriously losing it. It’s not ‘Vil’s voice’ anymore, oh  now, it’s ‘him’. I’ve lost it.

I look up for a second. And then I squeal and jump back, because he’s right next to me, kneeling down beside me, one hand outstretched a little away from my body, as if he just stopped himself from touching me. Except I jump back the wrong way and I go—

Straight through him. An icy chill goes through me as I do, and it’s so cold and sends shivers right through me, with this presence in my head, a unsettling, almost lamenting consciousness and I turn back and look at him.

I squeak a little bit.

He has no aura.

Well, he is dead, or supposed to be, but there’s something creepy about a person without an aura, even with the stuff that sorta should freak you out first, like the fact that they’re transparent and go-right-through-able and who knows what else.

He’s just crouching there, white white ever so white, watching me, so completely still that it’s unnerving. It takes me a while to realise that it’s ‘cause he isn’t breathing. No steady rise and fall of his chest. My breath catches in my throat a little and then I’m the one who’s not breathing, I stop and he watches for about a split second before leaping towards me, except he goes straight through and I let out a gasp at the cold—

And he’s managed to get me breathing again.

Clever Vil.

I groan as I think it ‘cause there’s no doubt in it now. I’ve totally lost it.

“Sorry,” he whispers again, and I wonder what the heck he has to be sorry for ‘cause that whole thing was all my fault and if he even dares to go on about how it’s his fault for being weak and dying, I swear I’ll—

“Sorry… I failed you, Sil. I don’t have the slightest idea of how long it’s been, but I know I’ve took much longer getting here than I should have and I’m—”

He breaks off all of a sudden, smiling.

“You look older,” he says. “Stronger, more… serious than you used to.” His smile goes out like a light, and his ears go straight down. “I hurt you, didn’t I? I’m so STUPID, I should have been here—”

I’m hardly paying attention to him. I’m suddenly absorbed by the fact that he hasn’t aged at all, he still looks thirteen, exactly the same as when he…

“—THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!”

Typical. Here he goes, blaming himself as usual, with his little nobility problem. Huh. There’s something else that hasn’t changed. (Am I ignoring the fact that he’s meant to be dead or am I just mad?)

“Vil, stop blaming yourself!” I snap at him, irritated. He freezes, and I can just tell that he’s thinking, Oh no, I’ve upset her, this is my fault, how could I be so STUPID, and other things which aren’t true at all and I start to cry, ‘cause this is the first thing I’ve said to him in two whole years, since I held him in my arms, feeling his life slipping away, feeling him pouring all his strength when he didn’t have nearly enough into kissing me—

I choke on a sob and put my head in my hands. He reaches for me, and his hand passes right through mine and there’s the cold again, that slow, mournful presence coming at me—

He jerks his hand away and darts to the other side of the lake, staring at me over the other side—

And I swear that he ran right across the water—

And he says—

“Sorry.”

Again.

“Why’ve you gone over—”

“It hurts you,” he says immediately, and his voice is so pained that I feel my heart break again, if that’s even possible. “It hurts you… I’m sorry. I can’t touch you or I’ll… hurt… you…”

I look at my hand, the one he’d tried to take, gone right through. “But you can’t touch me. You go straight—”

“But you feel me, don’t you? You feel me… in your head… I can hear you thinking it and I can’t… hurt you… not again.”

I frown at him. “But—”

“Sil. I’ve only got so long and I’ve got so much to say…,” he says quietly, still standing there, ever so still. I shiver.

I watch as a butterfly lands on his palm. He looks down at it for about a second, his face sad, when I realise—

Why the heck isn’t it going through him?

He looks up as if he heard what I was thinking. “They’re like a passageway,” he says quietly. “Between the living and the dead… we can’t stay too long or we’ll upset the balance and—”

“You can’t leave me!” I yell suddenly, knowing what it means, and we haven’t had long, he’s only just got—

There’s another butterfly.

“It’s not something I can choose. We just have to let it carry us and take what we can get.”

“I NEED YOU!”

He winces. Two more butterflies, and they seem to be coming faster, and I can’t take this, and this time I don’t think I could stand writing another poem—

The poem.

I want him to see it.

Oh god. I’m so selfish and stupid but I’m already running to him, going to take his hand and the butterflies fly off, and he looks at me in surprise as my hand passes through. He sees me. He sees that I want to show him something.

I turn and I run, as fast as I can go, and I’m vaguely aware of the presence in my head, that he’s following me, and I look back every now and again, and there’s a trail of butterflies following him, following us, and it’s the butterflies all over again—

I run.

They’re not reaching him. If he keeps moving they can’t reach him.

I just run.

And we burst into the village, and then the presence hits me full blast and I feel suddenly like he’s in my head, swallowing it, and I can hardly focus with this melancholy thing in my head, but I run and I still run and I run to my house and it’s empty, all empty, and I guess Ma must be with someone else—

The presence in my head lifts.

“Sorry.”

I look. Vil’s in right behind me.

“What?”

“Did it hurt you?” he asks, looking nervous, apprehensive. I don’t get it.

“Huh—”

“Did it?!”

“Uh, no… was it meant to?” I say, unsure. He twitches a little and looks away.

“We hurt people. I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

I realise that he must’ve been in me, that the presence was him inside my head, and sure, people seeing a ghost-Vil running around wouldn’t exactly be the most ordinary thing ever, so sure, he ought to hide. If it’s in my head, then fine. Just…

But wouldn’t he visit his ma?

I shake myself. He chose me over his ma. God.

But he’s stopped moving and a butterfly is coming through the window. I yelp and shut it, and I run again, remembering, the urge strong all over again, ‘cause he has to know, he has to know that I love him—

I’m pounding up the stairs—

And he’s following me—

I ram into the door—

He’s following—

We’re bursting in—

And staring at the wall, the ink still fresh, running now. He just stands there. Staring. Reading. I can almost hear him choking over the first words.

He reaches up and lets his hand pass through the wall, going over each line, whispering under his breath. His eyes are sad, his expression pained and I think he’s gonna hit himself. He’s barely reached, “About how I haven’t stopped crying for two whole years,” when the butterflies start coming through the window.

Panicking, I go to shut it, and just my luck, just my luck—

It’s stuck open. That’s what I get for vaulting through the stupid window and practically cementing it shut.

He looks at me for about a second, and shakes his head. My grip relaxes without me telling it too. I just stand there, taking him in, watching him as one butterfly lands, two, three, until I don’t want to count ‘cause it makes me feel sick.

He’s still whispering.

“Even when you get off topic,” he goes, his hand still passing through the words.

I’ve moved away from the window. Butterflies are everywhere now, swarming into the room—

By the time he’s reached, “So not to hurt my feelings,” they’re surrounding him—

Covering him—

Until I can’t really see him no more—

And I just hear him reaching—

“Let myself free and find my heaven—”

And then—

Then—

The butterflies have vanished.

And he has too.

I fall to my knees, the tears coming again. He didn’t even reach the right bit.

And the line after is ringing though my head.

But you’re in heaven now.

I especially like the bit where Sil’s attacking her mother. Don’t ask me why. I just love Sil when she’s angry… I sort of made up some ghostie rules while I was writing this, which Vil keeps mentioning. He never changed one bit, haha, always worrying about Sil. Why am I laughing? I’m such a cruel author XD. It is very sad though, how Sil is. Hard to imagine her all broken like that… :(. Her POV’s very weird to write too… she knows a whole load of fancy words, but uses them in an offhand way and doesn’t think in the same formal way that Vil does. She’s odd. But you all know that.

ANYWAY. 8) Innocence is next… my mind is totally blank… I’ve got no ideas, but I want to write something with Jaden soon, ’cause I’ve got inspired like that, but I don’t think this is his theme. I’ll probably have to create some new characters for this like I did with 1) Introduction and see where it takes me. 1 turned out interesting enough XD.

See ya. I hope you’re happy with this long, interesting post!

~ Eve.

P.S: I’ve noticed that it counts all the words in your post for the first time ever, considering I’ve had this blog for, like, three months now. XD

P.P.S: My most searched term is… “forgetting school PE kits”. LOLWHUT? Who searched that? Did I write about forgetting my PE kit once? *Wonders how odd you guys can get.*

But I have stuff to talk about! YAY!

So… my CDs came! Harhar. Who wants to guess what they are? Yeah… I finally got some albums and don’t have to stalk youtube quite so much. But LIST– 1. The Heart Of Everything – Within Temptation. 2. The Silent Force – ALSO Within Temptation. 3. Fallen – Evanesence. And 4. Don’t You Fake It – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, which was on my iPod anyway from Laura (my amazing seventeen-year-old auntie. She rocks :D) but I wanted to by the CD anyway. :p

Oh yes, NOW you’re groaning ’cause you can just TELL that I’m gonna go on about what songs I like. XD So… I think I like the Evanescence best out of the new ones, since I’ve listened to Red Jumpsuit for ages now. It’s a shame that in Everybody’s Fool it references to a she in particular, ’cause otherwise it would have fitted Jack talking about God. ‘Cause their relationship is like that. But my favourite on that album is probably… My Immortal. Then Bring Me To Life and My Last Breath. And Whisper. And probably Tourniquet.

OH GOSH. My Immortal has just come on now… like some creepy invisible cue. XD No, seriously, that song is so sad. And pretty. I know all the lyrics already. I do like Evanescence. Even Haunted has grown on me, and that song seriously CREEPED ME OUT the first time I heard it– oh look, here it comes. Wanting me~ Watching me~ I can feel you pull me down~ Fearing you~ Loving you~ I won’t let you pull me down~. Yes, I typed that in time with the chorus… though a certain LINE is scary… *finds it creepy that it’s come up RIGHT now*

But yah. I like Whisper and Tourniquet (oh dear, here it comes ON NOW) since they fit Jack. And TALKING ABOUT THAT–

The OTHER albums! *stabbed* Seriously, on The Heart Of Everything… I swear they wrote those songs with some premonition thing that I would write this thing. XD Especially Hand of Sorrow. Which I love. First line: ‘The child without a name grew up to be the hand.’ ENOUGH SAID. The guy in that song is Jack, I swear XD. If Haru ditches me on the collab thing, then I’m going out and calling the first novel The Child Without a Name. And somehow getting permission to include SONG EXCERPTS, ’cause I love that! :D

*shuts up*

AND– no, wait, it’s not about the songs, before you all murder me. I’ve finished Zero Moment (which was epic, btw :D) and now I’ve got… Monsters of Men! *spazzes* I’m nearly a third of the way through and it’s a LOT fatter than the other ones. If it was the others… I’d be nearly done, about 5/6s through, I think. It’s EPIC. HARHAR. READ TEH SERIES OF EPIC AWESOMEFULNESS NAO– oh wait, it’s… UK only. Huh. That’s not FAIR. Such epic books should be WORLDWIDE. But the good thing about that is that it has the ENGLISH-ENGLISH SPELLINGS. :D So does the Joshua Files, now I think about it. Good books must come naturally from over here. XD

…

Yes, that’s all I have to say.

*shot for not having interesting stuff*

Shame. I told myself I wasn’t gonna write about songs ’cause that’s all I’ve been doing lately. So the ban’s on now. I’m not allowed, or you can all punish me, haha.

So… I got Zero Moment in the library today! :D Third book in The Joshua Files, by M. G. Harris. I wanted Monsters Of Men (third book in Chaos Walking, best series EVAR) but Miss is still reading it… rawr… not fair… but I was eagerly awaiting this book too, so harhar. Compromise. And Miss’d better finish that book nao. XD I’m up to page 50, only chapter five. It’s been a while since I read Ice Shock and some things I’ve totally forgotten about and it took a lot of mention and prodding for me to remember. Even so… great book so far. Can’t wait for the action to kick in, ’cause it always does and it’s always especially epic when it does. XD I wonder if it’s the last book… if not, this’d better be finished before 2012, and not ’cause the world’ll explode and I won’t get to see what the end is, lol. 2012 is a major plot focus in this series and it’ll be a little disappointing to go through 2012 (though the world IS gonna explode first XD) and know that it’s not real. Sure, I know it’s not real anyway, but I like imagining… it’s an interesting twist on the end of the world thing, you see. Heh.

AND THE COVER’S LIME GREEN AND PURPLE. How’s that to prove it to ya, Haru? Eh? Oh, don’t mind me. This is just daily routine for us two XD. We’re weird, I know. Avoid us.

Hmm. What? Oh yeah, life. I’ve gotta go though and I’m not gonna have time… *Procrastinator.* And I know I’ll have interesting stuff to talk about tomorrow, you see. *Taps nose.*

I’ll get round to it EVENTUALLY, though stuff’s sorta calmed down now. That’s a good thing, too.

AU REVIOR.

ANYWAY. My Last Breath… I can’t believe I didn’t find this song any earlier, when I was actually writing the thing, but it fits Vil… beautifully… T___T. And that last scene in particular. And, ’cause I love quotes, I’m gonna quote a specific bit which works more than anything. <3

Hold onto me, love

You know I can’t stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you and I’m not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath…

wygr8ishuajihygrfe89auohjdkl rawr, it’s so SAD… ;_;. Sure, My Guardian Angel fitted him, but this is… this is just even more. It even fits with the storyline! Well, the last scene… of epic-sadness… TALKING about Chasing You, I feel like rewriting the whole thing. I read a bit of it yesterday and ugh, not only is Sil’s personality warped, but the writing isn’t all that good. I really want to rewrite it. I also have a good idea for the prologue… rather than rambling on about history in the boring, stereotypical way, lets have Sil write an ESSAY, ’cause I can JUST imagine what she’d think of the topic. XD

And also while I’m on the topic, yes, number seven is underway… the theme was ‘heaven’ so I was sort of like, “Trust that to be right after I do Jack,” and I didn’t want to repeat him right after… and I started randomly writing a poem, like Sil writing it, ’cause she DOES write poems, and then I used the word ‘heaven’ in it and when I finished the poem, I carried on and am making it a story… it’s actually depressing… poor Sil… ;__;.

AND just to get back on the topic of Evanescence again, ’cause I like pointing out songs which fit my chars, Bring Me To Life actually fits Mae and Jack, with Mae singing ’cause she doesn’t get much… plus with a pretty line it makes sense from her… and then Jack would be the guy, which is FUN ’cause they actually match with the right genders for once, haha. I just LOVE the line…

Frozen inside without your touch

Without your love, darling

Only you are the life among the dead…

I just LOVE the ‘life among the dead’ thing, ’cause they ARE dead, heh. And Mae loves Jack :D. Slightly obsessively, and creepily to start with, but HEY. This is also why Brighter by Paramore (<3) fits her, ’cause she’d totally say all that about Jack. Haha. Not to mention it just… is a nice line… which fits… yay… AND– *Shot for even DARING to mention another song.* But Surrender – also by Evanescence XD – fits the creepy-obsessive love that she had at first… which WAS creepy… I’m not even sure if that’s only by Evanescence OR with Within Temptation too, ’cause there’s a whole debate on Youtube about it and I don’t think I heard Sharon’s voice in there either, but EITHER WAY. Epic song. Harhar. The creepy stuff I like XD.

This is what happens when you let me stalk Youtube for hours. Scary, I know.

Did I say I was gonna explain what was going on in my life? Eh. I’ve put that off. Oh well. I will.

…

Eventually.

*Axe-murdered for wasting an entire post going on about Evanescence.*

If you’re planning to write a slice-of-life book then whichever problem you pick will most likely be the central conflict of your story. But the danger of picking a problem and trying to write a character around it is that this conflict can seem staged, and a character’s responses artificial. Any child who is in the same situation as your character will, most probably, know about this problem far more intimately than you, and might find your description of it unrealistic, boring or, much worse, preachy.

See? Doesn’t he ramble on and add loads of words which he doesn’t need? Way to go back on his own point. But anyway… it’s the preachy thing which made me smile ’cause Jack uses that word so much to describe God and I just found it funny. Watch me go and smile like a doofus every time I see the word ‘preachy’ now. It’s all Jack’s fault!

…I ramble on about nothing a lot myself. I don’t think I can talk. XD

What else was I gonna say…? Oh, I need to write something. All I’m writing right now is my 100 Theme Challenge and roleplay posts (and that doesn’t exactly count). Rawr. I don’t have inspiration though. I need to write something… plus my novels are all at a standstill and I can’t get back into writing the prologue of Beginning (the first book in Fighting Fate, previously named When Life Ends… I like these titles better :D) and Lynn’s POV is so annoying. She speaks posh. But it’s interesting to look at her speaking and compare it to Jack… she thinks about God quite a bit and it’s a LOAD different. It really portrays God as a good character from her perspective. It’s interesting. The same with the epilogue, which, of course, isn’t written yet ’cause I can’t get off my lazy butt and start writing the thing. >___<

Have I mentioned that we’re gonna thrash USA tomorrow? Well, we are. GO ENGLAND! Despite epic-fail-last-place Eurovision and all our other epic-fails… England still rocks. At least, we can’t get any WORSE… not that I know anything about football, but hey, that doesn’t mean I can’t have TEAM SPIRIT! WOO! *grabs pompoms and does a random cheerleader dance even though she’s never been a cheerleader in her life* Sorry all you people who live in the US, but we’re gonna win. ‘Nuff said. :D

…Come on, you’ve gotta admire my enthusiasm!

I’m listening to Misfit by Lesley Roy right now. It’s quite scary now ’cause I listen to the lyrics and think, “Hey, this is sort of depressing but it fits practically all of my chars…” But it’s a good songgg. I totally should have put this song as the ‘class’s’ theme song on that meme thing… they’re all pretty misfit-ish. Sorry guys, but you’re all crazy. XD

And I started with a quote, so I’m gonna end on one. ^__^

See the misfit in the mirror,

See the freak that lives inside,

See the misfit in the mirror cry!

See the one nobody wanted,

Shattered by a world of lies,

See the misfit in the mirror die!

…Isn’t it nice? The rest of the lyrics get just plain insulting. XD But the chorus is so catchy… >___<. Especially the hate bit (tut tut, Lesley… you can just TELL that you love the person you’re singing about, whoever the poor soul is). I learnt about this song ’cause of this picture. It’s very pretty. You should look at it… sure, the char is a little emo-ish with the hair and all but it’s still pretty. And I think that’s the point. :3

I’d better go… *looks at clock ’cause she ought to be getting to bed round about now*

Shame. I didn’t even talk about all I was gonna talk about. Oh well. Tomorrow then.

…So much for ending on a quote.

Here we go! (I’ll warn you now – even if you HAVE to have seen that first sentence by now – that it’s very religious and if you think it’ll insult you then don’t read. Also, Jack swears too much XD.) 6) Break Away…

6) Break Away

“YOU MUST BE PUNISHED,” SAYS GOD.

I grit my teeth, trying not to cry out from the pain which is still rushing through my newly formed wings, and I shut my eyes ’cause I can’t bear to look into that light right now, I can’t look at bloody God without wanting to stab him to his bloody second death, though it’s probably not possible to stab light and if anyone could have killed God then the bloody Devil would have done it already.

The blood is still bleeding out through the deep slashes across my right wing, the shape that was cut in the feathers, tearing new-black-never-never-white feathers out in a bloody mess. It’s still new, still burning from the pain, still making tears roll down my cheeks even if I’m stopping myself from screaming. And I can’t stop it and I can’t wipe them away ’cause bloody God is doing one of his all-powerful Godly things that’s holding me stiffly in midair, never to break away, never to break free, with black surrounding me, black everywhere everywhere everywhere apart from the goddamn light which is goddamn God. I ain’t even allowed to look at the bloody shape that’s forever stuck on my wing, before I even got to see if they worked and flew and everything.

But I know it’s a cross.

And of course I know why he chose a bloody cross, ’cause it’s all ‘sacrifice’ and ‘in the name of justice’ and all that crap. He don’t care. He don’t care how painful it was, he don’t care how much it hurt me, and, to be honest, I think he liked it. I swear he loves making me suffer. He’s done enough of it. Hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and that’s the story of my life, ain’t it? There ain’t no happy bits in my life that I’d like to go back to, ’cause even the ones that seem happy enough end badly. And most of them are downright depressing. And a lot of the newer ones, just before and after I died, are just plain scary.

And half of them are about what BLOODY GOD’S DONE TO ME.

“YOU SHOW NO REMORSE FOR YOUR SINS AND YOU DO NOT ACCEPT SALVATION. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO SURVIVE ALL THAT IS TO COME, IMMANUEL?”

I stop scowling and I blink my eyes open and I’m downright puzzled. Immanuel? Even Tabitha didn’t call me that, I was her little baby Daniel, and if God has to use a given name for me, then he’d use that, wouldn’t he? I know that he wouldn’t use Jack, ’cause that’s just what I made up for myself and it sort of sunk in ’till even I think of myself as Jack and that’s who I am now, not no Daniel and definitely not no Immanuel.

I wonder.

What if that’s my real name?

What if that’s what my mum called me?

And, of course, God interrupts my thoughts with his lecture and, as always, he don’t give no answers.

“HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION OF SATAN IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT MY FORGIVENESS? I HAVE TRIED, AND I STILL DO. YOU JUST REFUSE TO FALL INTO MY OPEN ARMS.”

I glare up into the light that is God, and I can feel the hatred gathering in my eyes, burning and flickering but not going out, not once going out.

I growl at him, and I say, “Shut up. It’s all bloody LIES!“

“SATAN HAS PLANTED ALL OF THIS BLASPHEMY IN YOUR MIND. NONE OF WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD IS TRUE, IMMANUEL. YOU MUST LEARN TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION OF THE DEVIL, ELSE YOU WILL FALL PREY TO EVIL AND WILL FOREVER LANGUISH IN ETERNAL DAMNATION.”

I hate him so much. I hate how he can make his voice so loud and booming that it seems to be right inside you head, and how it seems to have a font to it, a big, important looking font with capital letters, the type you get on graves, and I hate his preachy language with all its stupid ‘blasphemy’ and ‘temptation’ and ‘damnation’ and all that bullshit, and I just bloody hate him.

“Well, that wouldn’t matter, would it? ‘Cause I should have been bloody damned eternally ages ago when I bloody died! RIGHT?! And I actually was! I went to hell and then there’s a war and you decide to let me stay for a little while, and you’re plotting aren’t you, while I’m stuck in heaven not fitting in and getting odd looks and some right creepy people coming up to me, you’re all the while GOING ON AT LYNN FOR LETTING ME SIN SO BLOODY MUCH! You act all pure and holy but heck you ain’t, Lynn never did anything wrong, she was the best guardian she could be and she always stuck with me, she did, and she tried her bloody best! I’m sorry but it’s obviously just that I ain’t goddamn good enough for you and your bloody paradise.”

The light says nothing.

The light stays there, glowing, glowing, glowing, shining down on me, blinding me through the darkness.

And finally—

“IMMANUEL, THAT IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL USE MY NAME IN VAIN. THAT IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL USE SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE.”

I feel like I’m on fire, I’m so hot and angry, and he still stays so bloody calm and still and I bloody hate him. Him and his never-ending preaching.

He’s still at the Immanuel thing too, but I ain’t sure what I think about that, but I hate it ’cause he should just call me Jack like everyone else. Even Lynn, with her careful following of God’s rules, calls me Jack.

“GODDAMN YOU!”

I don’t care one bit that he can’t exactly damn himself but I just want to throw it back at him, to show him that it bloody ain’t the last time, and this won’t be either. He can’t stop me. I’d like to see him try.

The silence after that is even longer than before. It stretches on forever, and my anger boils all the way through it. I don’t never stop glaring.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Say something. Come on.

I don’t bloody bite.

Of course, you can’t bite light, can you? Bet that’s the only reason he ain’t dead yet. You can’t kill light.

And then he speaks.

“IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO LEARN YOUR LESSON. YOU WILL TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT AND YOU WILL REPENT FOR YOUR SINS.”

Bullshit. I won’t repent for any of my bloody sins. No one can avoid sinning with these rules. It’s a miracle anyone even gets into heaven. I guess that’s why hell’s so crowded and heaven’s so empty. It’s so easy to sin.

And I don’t even flinch. I just glare. He’s punished me enough. It’s not exactly easy to find something worse, even if I am a coward, even if I’m terrified easily. My wing is still bleeding, still sending sharp pain up my side and round my back, and they’re both still new, both still black black black. I don’t know what he was thinking in making me an angel. I fell about a minute afterwards, joined the Fallen so quick that it’s pathetic. Shows how bloody easy it is to sin. All you need to do is hate someone. So hard, that.

And suddenly, he does one of his godly things and I see that I’m being held up by ropes, white ropes which glow and I don’t know how but they glow. They’re around my wrists first, and I start to feel the rope making my burnt hand sting, the glow of the rope clear against the shrivelled black of the skin around my wrist and my hand which don’t look like a hand no more, and then it criss-crosses both my arms together, and it’s making the red, scarring flesh around my left arm sting too, and I don’t think the burn’s ever gonna heal at this rate, and then it’s criss-crossing over my bare chest, straight over the hole where the bullet went, and it goes off to my back to bind my wings in a tangle of knots, and it criss-crosses my legs together and ends at my ankles, going right round.

And there’s a rope around my neck. It’s got a string coming off it, like a lead, and the light that is God shifts into the form of an angel, a pure white angel made completely of light, and he takes the string with his hand and my fury burns. I can’t contain it. It’s like I’m a little puppy, just for him, and if he’s gonna take me on bloody walkies I will bloody kill him.

The God-angel smiles.

And he starts being preachy.

“YOU SEE, IMMANUEL, YOU ARE LIKE A PET. A WILD LITTLE ANIMAL THAT CAN BE TAMED WITH A LITTLE LOVE AND ATTENTION,” he looks at me and I scowl back at him, burning burning burning. “BUT I’VE GIVEN YOU MY LOVE, I’VE GIVEN YOU ALL I HAVE… BUT YOU REFUSE TO BE TAMED. SO I WILL CUT THE ROPE THAT BINDS YOU AND I WILL LET YOU FREE, LIKE THE WILD ANIMAL YOU ARE.”

There’s a catch to it. There’s always a catch to it. I don’t trust him. And sure enough, the God-angel smiles a knowing, preachy little smile, which blatantly says, I know what’s coming next and you don’t have a clue, except in more preachy language.

But I do have a clue. I know something’s coming.

But I’ll soon find out that I didn’t have a blinking clue.

“AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR PUNISHMENT IN YOUR FREEDOM.”

And I just glare and curse under my breath for him to stop being preachy and get the bloody punishment over with already.

He makes me wait.

Bastard.

And the ropes disappear and I’m sent plummeting down, down down down down down down down down down.

Down.

I don’t let myself scream, and my breath’s wooshed out of me so any scream wouldn’t have carried anyway, but I can’t think and everything’s going so fast so fast so fast and I don’t think it’s ever gonna stop never ever never ever never ever ever. Some deep buried instinct makes me frantically try to flap my wings, to fly, and I pray more than anything that they work, and my left is working right, it’s flapping flapping flapping, but my right is still bleeding and I cry out as it sends jolts of pain as I try to make it flap. I stop. I ain’t getting anywhere and I’m still scared out of my wits and it’s never ever gonna stop never ever ever—

I fall straight into something cold and hard and I yell in pain as I hit my head against something long and circular and hard as heck and I can feel it bleeding but I can’t think, my head’s just swirling round and round and round and it ain’t making no sense at all and I only get a faint idea of what the hell this is when I hear metal click and I find myself squished between stuff which is most definitely bars and I groan when they start glowing, ’cause I’m fed up of all this bloody godly stuff, and I groan ’cause it’s not just a cage, it’s a freaking bird cage.

Goddamn him. Goddamn him to bloody hell and pray that they’ll murder him.

“FUCK YOU!” I snarl up into the blackness, and it echoes so I know he can hear. Good. He bloody deserves it. I curl up against the bars, fuming, and I pull my working wing around me and finger the cross on the other one, wincing at the pain that shoots up as touch it, and glaring at the blood coming off onto my fingers. If this thing don’t heal soon then I probably won’t ever be able to fly, and it’ll just be even more useless than my old wings were, ’cause at least those were light and small and not bloody painful.

The God-angel slowly comes into view and he’s taking the piss, he is, ’cause he ain’t even flying, he’s just floating leisurely down and I just know that he’s doing it to take the mickey ’cause he smiles at me, and he don’t ever do that unless he’s feeling smug. And preachy.

Eventually, he levels smoothly down beside the cage and he’s still smiling, waving a key about in his fingers which he don’t even need, except – of course, the bastard – to taunt me. Obviously. And he starts the preaching. Great.

“YOU SEE, IMMANUEL, YOU’RE LIKE A BIRD. BIRDS WANT TO BE FREE.”

I hiss. This is him going back to the bloody pet thing earlier.

“BUT WHEN YOU ARE SET FREE, YOU CAUSE HAVOC AND YOU ENDANGER PEOPLE. DANGEROUS ANIMALS MUST BE TAMED.”

Oh crap. I can see where this is going.

“BUT WHEN THEY REFUSE TO BE TAMED, THEY MUST BE KEPT SAFELY AWAY, AND WHEN THEY SOFTEN UP AND DO WHAT’S RIGHT, THEY ARE SET FREE AGAIN.”

Oh double crap.

“AND IF THEY DON’T, THEY ARE PUT DOWN.”

I know that’s a lie. He’s trying to be threatening but it ain’t working, ’cause I know he needs me for something, I don’t know what for but I know he needs me, otherwise I’d either be dead already or having my eternal bloody damnation in hell like I should have done in the first place. Instead, he tries all sorts of things to try and make me pure and holy and his little pet. He offers me a place in heaven (where I didn’t fit). He sends me to Purgatory to be purged of all my bloody sin (which didn’t work). He gets me bloody baptized and almost drowns me in the process, all to make my soul clean, and then I get to be an angel (except that was no good either ’cause, of course, I fell a minute later).

“Bullshit. If you were gonna kill me you would have done it already. You would never have given me all those chances.”

God-angel’s eyes narrow for a second and he smiles suddenly, and this time it’s a, you’re not so stupid as I thought, but I’m just gonna be vague to annoy you, type of smile. And of course he’s gonna be preachy. He’s always bloody preachy.

“YOU’RE ALSO LIKE A CAT. YOU ARE A VIOLENT LITTLE ALLEY CAT, ROAMING THE STREETS AND SPITTING AT INNOCENT PASSERSBY.”

Bastard. He did that on purpose.

“BUT CATS ARE SLY, CLEVER LITTLE THINGS. YOU CAN BE SMART WHEN YOU WANT TO BE.”

The bloody bastard. He’s taking the piss. When I want to be! Bastard. His fault, I bet. I wouldn’t be surprised if he shoved me on the streets and never let me have a chance to learn to read and all that just so he could poke fun at it. Bastard.

“BUT YOU DON’T REALLY UNDERSTAND, DO YOU?”

“YOU SHUT UP!”

I clench my fists and I glare up at him.

“It’s something important, ain’t it? I’m important. You need me for something and YOU WON’T BLOODY TELL ME WHAT IT IS!” I scream and throw myself at the bars in front of him, making them shake and sending pain right through me but I don’t care.

God-angel ripples a little before shifting back into a ball of light, the form that he always is, the form where you can’t ever tell what he’s thinking and he could be thinking about hamsters for all you know. I clench my fists tightly around the bars and I glare at him.

“I COULD TELL YOU, BUT I DOUBT YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.”

“SHUT UP!”

There’s a pause, where I feel like I’m going to explode with the tension but I keep glaring.

“BUT THERE’S NO HARM IN LETTING LITTLE ANIMALS GUESS.”

I glare and I glare and I glare.

He doesn’t move. The light doesn’t shift one bit.

The silence is long.

And painful.

And just plain annoying.

And eventually—

He shifts into the God-angel again, and he’s smiling, and he puts his finger through the bars and on my chin and he strokes my cheek and I flinch back but I don’t move. I stay still, and I glare at him.

And his mouth opens—

And somehow I know—

I ain’t gonna like what he’s about to say—

And I ain’t gonna believe it either—

But I listen—

And he speaks.

“YOU ARE MY—”

I was right. I don’t like it and I don’t believe it, and even as my mind blotches out the word I can still hear it ringing through my head. I don’t like it and I don’t believe it.

But, in that moment, I know I ain’t never gonna break away from God.

I love ittttt~ I love writing Jack anyway, ’cause it sort of flows and his story’s full of epicness, and… rawr, I just love this thing X3.

This would be just after Jack fell and God decided that he was going to punish him… and THIS happens. And as I wrote it, it started wanting to give away the plot-spoiler-secret-of-DOOM, and I was like, ‘crud, but I need to keep that a secret, it’s a huge plot spoiler,’ so Jack conveniently blotched it out. But he still hears it, of course, he just doesn’t tell you :P. He understands my writery needs, you see XD. And left a huge cliffhanger in the process, but OH WELL :D.

Sorry about that. But I just LOVE torturing you guys– *attacked by angry mob*

Eh, you can always guess… lots of things to guess from, but there you go. XD

I LOVE THIS THING. <3 <3 <3

(Au revoir.)

~ Eve <3

I swear Christian bands make their songs so that they can go either way on purpose XD. To be honest, I don’t believe in any particular religion. And it annoys me when people go around on these videos and go on at people about how they’re gonna be ‘damned to hell’ and all that ’cause they don’t believe in God. Personally, I don’t care. If it is all real and we go to hell, then they’ll be an awful lot of people there too XD. We’d all be slapping ourselves. But the point is that people can believe what they want, it doesn’t mean that you try to convert them and go all like that on youtube XD.

But oh well.

…

Hmm, I don’t know what that was. Anyway, I’ve discovered that it’s not a Christian band… but they do use a lot of Christian themes and symbolism and stuff… haha, it wouldn’t have stopped meh anyway. :p

Hmm… I like that song… The Cross, I mean (yay for the symbolism!). Release me from this cross after all these years~ Oh call my name, and help me with this weight~ <3

…I’m in an odd mood. Have you guys noticed? *Has a sudden urge to write more of 6 and runs off, inspired.*

~ Eve <3

But the SCARY thing about that song… it fits the whole story of the third book RIDICULOUSLY well. It’s scary how much it fits… O_o. Creeping me out… it’s honestly a Mae/Jack song. Fits them and their… *giggles* fate… why? Why does fate make us suffer? Oh… <3. You must listen to it… maybe figure out plot stuffs. Here’s the link again. The funny thing is that Jack would be the white font on the video, and Mae would have the red… which is funny ’cause it’s a GENDER SWAP XD. But I love that song. <3. <3. <333333333.

:D.

What else.

(Other than there’s a curse between us.) <3.

Hmm. OH, I’ve started 6) Break Away. It is about Jack, while we’re on the topic of him… I’m having a ridiculous amount of fun writing it. For some reason writing Jack is so easy, and I write so much MORE and it flows really nice and easy… I guess I know Jack better than any of my other characters. He’s my oldest (and believe me, his story was almost as awful as my first idea to start with… better, but still ridiculous XD. But it’s an epic story nao, and Haru helped by (to quote him XD) grabbing onto my idea and swinging on it. Mae made it even more epic…) character and the most complex. I know him like the back of my hand.

Clues? One word… God.

THAT’S ALL. Haha. But anyone who knows Jack well… eh, you can guess– *shot*

I’m having such fun with it. I’ve a feeling it’ll end up longer than 3) Light was…

ANYWAY. See you.

~ Eve :D